February Feelings

untitled by me

Today is the 1.2.2021. February is one of my favourite months. Not only do we move into Pisces Season but, as mentioned in my previous post, it is a month associated with love. Though I may be slightly deprived of sexual encounters at the moment (for lack of better words: I'm very sad to not be getting shagged on Valentine's Day), I am determined to make this month full of love. Self-love, romantic-love, platonic-love. There is too much hate, sorrow, and negativity in the world and we often find ourselves becoming immersed in the bleakness. Whether this negativity is fuelled by internal or external sources, let us try to recognise instances of darkness and shift these feelings into positive energy. We would not be human if we weren't saddened or taken aback by obstructions to our happiness but learning to shift this into love is highly beneficial to ourselves and those around us. 

We all know that January is notorious for being the most depressing month of the year and, for me, it certainly lived up to its reputation. I feel as though January acts as somewhat of a warm-up month to the new year as it brings many lessons, blessings, and forces me to bring any difficulty to the forefront of my attention in order to grow as a strong individual over the coming year.  Over the course of the last couple of months, there have been significant dips and important epiphanies happening around and within me. I reached acceptance and let go of a relationship that no longer served me, left a job that was draining to me, began rediscovering and experimenting with my creative talents, and opened the door to new friendships and new beginnings. As cliche and textbook as it sounds- everything really does happen for a reason. How we choose to respond to different situations impacts on our energy.  Shifting into a state of positive energy will be both a physical and mental sensation - allow yourself to feel. Start the transition and transcend.

I am setting the tone for the rest of the year, and my life, with February. February is a month that I feel a sense of spiritual and mental growth. I have simple affirmations to carry me through this month: that this month is going to hold happiness, strength, success, and love in abundance. Keeping myself present is one of my main goals for this month. Too much focus has been placed on the past. It's time to move forwards. I also continuing to make a conscious effort to reduce my phone time, which is difficult in lockdown as it is our main form of communication with others, but reducing my time spent on social media apps is doing wonders for my mental health. I am thinking of my future career plans and how, because my mental illness has robbed me of jobs, happiness, and experiences, I need to fully recommit to recovery if I want to succeed in having a healthy and balanced career/personal life. I am setting realistic goals. I am working on increasing my reading further (both fiction and non-fiction), more art (see above one of my pieces!), more meditation, more journaling, more manifestations, more language learning, and more healthy movement! I left my Fitbit watch at a friend's house the other day. Initially, not having it on my wrist made me very anxious as I am now unaware of my steps and I am unsure when I will be seeing this person next to get it back. But now, I am taking this as a positive lesson and challenge to appreciate how my body moves without the obsessive attention on calories burnt or steps taken. I am going to move my body and exercise in ways that make me feel good - dancing in the mornings whilst doing my skincare routine is my favourite form of this! 

I have now made it my mission, again, to love myself. I am also challenging myself to be more open and intimate with others (A 3 Part Series on my relationship to sex/intimacy is coming!). We will sabotage our romantic, and platonic, relationships if we are fixated on searching for approval, validation, and basing our self-worth off of the opinions and thoughts of others. We cannot love others fully if we do not love ourselves. Be honest and open with yourself. 

  - e.a.w